4 years ago I decided to take a new approach on life: To view my life as an adventure…one worth writing about. So I registered misssocial.wordpress.com and made sure my life and travels would be something worth reading.
Writing in my blog gives my life a sort-of accountability. Ever since that first blog post I’ve lived in sync with this motto: If you don’t know what to do, go with what makes the better story. I’ve never looked back, and I’ve had countless adventures with friends all over the world. Here are just a few of my favorite memories over the past 4 years. Some are exciting, some are heart breaking. But they are my memories, and you’ve been there for all of them…
For as long as I can remember, I’ve dreamed of traveling all over the world. My dream was not to spend 4 years in college, only to work in an office 300 days a year. It was to be a writer and photographer; to bring faraway places into the homes and minds of those people who were working in offices; in skyscrapers far above the roads they weren’t traveling on.
When I was around 20 years old, I tried to talk my best friend into going to Europe with me. We were riding in the car with our mothers at the time. My mother backed me up, exclaiming the great adventures we would have together as single, young women in such beautiful places as Paris, Venice, and Monaco. Seeing my friends excitement, her mother immediately shut the idea down, saying that we should wait until we were married and then would have our husbands protect us as we travelled. My mother gave me the look to let this one go, as though she could tell my strong opinions were about to boil over.
When we stopped for gas, my mother got out of the car, and I immediately spoke up. “I’ve been traveling for years. It’s not about having a husband to protect you, it’s about being smart; about watching over each other and looking out for yourself.” My friends mother responded that she didn’t want her daughter to have the same outlook on travel that I had; which was (in her opinion) that I had no home, and that I don’t develop any lasting relationships because I’m never anywhere long enough to.
At the time I was too enraged by her ignorant comment to respond, but now I realize that no response would have been better than J. R. R. Tolkien’s, Not all who wander are lost. That is the only explanation needed, and that anyone who doesn’t understand the meaning of that quote is, simply, not worth trying to defend myself to.
I know what traveling has meant in my life. Experiencing cultures and meeting people from all over the world- even just the small fraction that I’ve experienced- has changed my life. I have great friends that live thousands of miles away and we have memories together that are now etched in my heart that I will always cherish.
For some, ignorance is bliss. For me, true bliss is opening up as much of myself as I possibly can before my tiny fraction of time on this earth is up.
My advice for someone who does not yet know themselves: Travel. If you can’t afford to travel yet, then read as much about the world as you can, and meet as many people as you can, especially older ones, and listen to their stories. You can only grow from this.
“It’s an odd thing, but everyone who disappears is said to be seen at San Francisco. It must be a delightful city, and possess all the attractions of the next world.”
-Oscar Wilde
This just in! I’m wearing a dress! Without sleeves! in San Francisco! In the summer!
Amazing. It’s too much for my little heart to handle. Here are some shots from my warm, sunny weekend in San Francisco. I apologize ahead of time for the iPhone only photos…I didn’t have an actual camera with me this weekend.
My first drive over the new San Francisco Bay Bridge was at 2am…perfect because there was no traffic for once in my life.
After taking an early morning walk through Golden Gate Park (top photo), my friends and I headed over to lay out at Baker Beach. I’ve never seen such a gorgeous, warm day in San Francisco. Ever.
To celebrate my upcoming trip to Spain, we dined at B44, the city’s best Catalun restaurant. You must try the seafood paella!
Up next, we went to the Fun. with Tegan and Sara concert at The Greek in Berkeley. We were lucky enough to meet the bands back stage and enjoyed the cheese bar!
At the Fun. & Tegan and Sarah after party at The Greek in Berkeley, Calif.
Musical Motivation: San Francisco – The Mowgli’s (Can you feel the love?)
When people read my blog or look through my Instagram photos, everyone seems to have one of two reactions: They’re either hugely supportive and proud, or they have a myriad of follow-up questions. Today I’m putting it all out there, so here are the answers to all your burning questions about my not-so-private-anymore life. Pull up a chair…
1. Don’t I want to have kids?
I recently read this hugely offensive article on Thought Catalog that stated that a woman should have kids first, get them out of the way, and focus on a career later. At first the article got my blood boiling. It seemed to set feminism back about 40 years with that statement alone.
But I found myself losing sleep the next few nights over it. Should I have gotten married when I was super young? Had kids before 25 like so many of my friends? The article stated that while developing your career can be done at any point in your life, having kids (naturally) can’t. Oh. My. God. That makes sense…Why hadn’t I thought of that before? I never wanted to be the type of woman that was concerned with her ‘biological clock’ (that phrase makes me want to gag), but all of the sudden, everyone else seems to be worrying about me settling down, as if I’m almost out of time. In case you’re wondering, I’m 26.
As much as I act like all my single ladies, all my single ladies, I do want to have a kid, or maybe a whole crew of them. Eventually. Maybe it’s my type-A personality, but I’m a full believer that yes, I can have it all, and I will, just not yet. So… Can all you baby-pushers give me (and every other 20-something female) a break? I will have a baby, and it’s going to be adorable, and have totally rock star parents who are ready to have kids. Which brings me to…
2. Don’t I want to get married?
In theory, yes. But, the older I get, I realize that my actions don’t exactly line up with that goal. I want to be in a relationship, but I can’t stay in one place long enough to actually go on more than a date or two in sequence. I’m either going to have to A) Settle down in one place or B) Find someone who likes to have the same adventures I do. I’m thinking B sounds like the better option.
I’ve gotten close to getting married before. Heck, I’ve even been engaged. Have you ever seen that episode of Grey’s Anatomy when Christina is getting
married to Burke and she hyperventilates when they put her wedding choker/necklace thing is on? That’s how I felt the entire 2 months I was engaged. I know it was because it was the wrong person, so until someone can make me feel the opposite of that, I think I’ll stay out of a life-binding contract with them. As my friend Brittain puts it, I may be taking the long way around, but at least I’m not settling, and I’m not stuck.
For now, I’m happy sharing my love, words, and emotions with someone who’s on the road as much as I am (just not always the same road). Ohhhh mystery. I can’t tell you all my secrets, can I? But, I will tell you just writing about him makes my cheeks hurt from smiling so much.
3. Why didn’t I get my college degree?
Probably because I’m irresponsible and couldn’t get to a single class on time to save my life. Mostly, because every marketing class I took in college made me feel like I should have been teaching the class. I student-taught a lot, but in the end, marketing is a skill that you’re always learning and improving on, so you might as well be getting paid. Do not follow my example.
It took a long time for me to decide what I wanted to do when I grew up. I didn’t dream of growing up to be a marketing or PR girl. I wanted to be a kindergarten teacher, a fashion designer, a full-time writer, or simply a mom.
But, my independence got the better of me. I insisted on moving out of my parents house when I was 19, and with that decision came more responsibility than I was prepared for. Without being armed with a college degree, I had to start from the ground up [read about my journey here]. Starting as a marketing assistant, I slowly moved my way up the latter to a Marketing Director position. But, that wasn’t enough for me. I knew I wanted 3 things from whatever work I was doing:
1. Flexibility in my schedule. The ability to work where and when I want.
2. More money, less work. I never wanted to work “full-time.” But I knew I had to find a job that could allow me to make the same amount…not easy. I didn’t need to be rich, but make enough to live comfortably and travel often.
3. Do work I love. My passion is in writing, so I knew whatever position I held, writing would have to be a huge part of it.
During my time as Marketing Director, I began to see starting my own marketing agency as the perfect way to combine all 3 of my above priorities. I began to put feelers out to my networks, online and off. Twitter became a huge part of my networking because it allowed me to connect with like-minded people in San Francisco, and begin developing relationships with them. By the time I decided to move to San Francisco, I had hundreds of business contacts. When I quit my job and moved to San Francisco, I hit the ground running.
The only problem: I had no idea how to start my own marketing agency. So, I took a part-time position as an account manager at a small agency in Oakland for 3 months. I watched everything the sales reps, the writers, and the designers did, and implemented them into my own actions. After 3 months, I thought, “This seems easy enough!” I quit that day and dove full-force into my own business.
When I finally broke into the marketing scene, it took about a year to really get things moving. Looking back, I see the mistakes I made during that first year, and if I had to do it all over again I could move it along much faster:
1. Relationships. I was too distracted by break-ups and make-ups to really focus on my work, especially when they’re both so volatile.
2. Money. I had nothing in savings, so every cent I made went to rent and paying my team of contractors. This was a real pain come tax season.
On the other hand, here are the true gold nuggets of that first year:
1. Be everywhere. I can’t say enough for networking. I know it’s an annoying buzz word, but it works. Be at every event. Shake hands with every one. Follow up afterwards, and not just from a business standpoint. These are people who have been where you are and they can give you advice on how to succeed. Buy them coffee or lunch, and pick their brain.
Be everywhere online as well. Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram, LinkedIn. These are your friends. It’s not a waste of time. You want to be the first person a client thinks of when they- or someone they know- needs a marketing agency. The way to do this is to be wherever they are, online or off. Plus, you’re a marketing agency, you need the practice!
2. Blog. Blog every week. Every day if you can. In order for your business to succeed, you need a website. More importantly, you need traffic to your website. The best, and most organic, way to get traffic to your site is through blogging. Don’t just post blogs with a bunch of key words, but make valuable content for your readers. Google will recognize the quality of your website, and put you ahead of your competition in search results.
3. Do quality work. Most of my new clients come from referrals. I’ve developed multiple referral incentive campaigns and none of them work as well as simply doing the best job, making my clients talk about me to their colleagues.
4. Be ahead of schedule. I have content calendars for all of my clients, and most content is developed about a month in advance, depending on the campaign. Being ahead of schedule gives me freedom from stress and the availability to meet with new clients or do a last-minute high-paying job. Also, coming in well before deadlines really impresses the client.
5. The customer always wins. The best sales come from previous clients or up-selling existing ones. If a client is ever unhappy with my work for any reason, I will give them a month of free services, or make it up to them in some large way. Taking a temporary loss is better than losing them as a client altogether.
6. Bill in monthly retainers. The only way I manage to not be stressed out about bills all the time is that I charge my clients on a monthly basis. My marketing packages all have monthly pricing, which allows me to anticipate my income every month. That is my bread and butter. When I’m ahead of schedule for the month, I’ll gladly take on a la carte jobs like a website or graphic design project, but I always have the foundation of my monthly clients.
7. A well constructed contract. All of my monthly packages have a requirement of a 30-day notice for a contract termination. That way, if a client does decide to cancel their contract, I have a month to figure out how to make up for the loss. (But who would ever want to cancel their contract with me???)
8. Don’t leave it up to the client to pay on time. The first year of owning my own business was toughest because I made one fatal mistake for an online company: Accepting checks. I would drive myself crazy running to the post office every day to see if I had any checks in the mail…and most of the time, there wasn’t. Or if there was, some checks would bounce, leaving me strapped for money at unfortunate times. The solution was simple: Square. I slowly transitioned all of my clients to credit card-only payment. Every month, on either the 1st or 15th, I charge my clients for their monthly services. It takes so much stress out of the billing process.
These are just a few of the many things I learned in the first year of owning my own business. That first year was in 2010, and now 3 years later, I’m still making mistakes and learning from them.
What did you learn in your first year of small business ownership?
Or, if you’re thinking about opening your own business, what has motivated you?
Musical Motivation: This morning I’m dancing to Counting Stars by One Republic.
It’s 10:18pm on a Monday night now, and I’m not sure exactly where my day has gone. Today was very much like many of my other days: Wake up, drink coffee, work, work out, back to work, dinner, and now back to work again.
What keeps me from absolutely going crazy from all this work? A few things…
I’m thankful that I have work to do, as many people these days are without an income. I am especially grateful that every day I get to wake up and do a job I love. I get to be creative, I get to write, I get to work with creative people, and I get to travel. But what really keeps me going is the light at the end of the tunnel: success. Not monetary success, but riches in adventure. Almost every month of the past year, part of my paycheck has gone into plane tickets. I’ve been to 5 different countries in the past year, with at least a few more before yearend. Because my job allows me to work every where, I no longer have to skip camping trips with my family to work for a boss I can’t relate to. I don’t have to miss my nieces and nephews growing up because I’m too busy working and trying to afford a high rise apartment in the city (although it was also an awesome experience). I get the privilege of doing what I want, every day.
I get asked the same questions every day, on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, or my blog…Do I ever work? How do I get to travel so much? How did I get so lucky?
The honest truth is, I’m always working. I decided a long time ago that I didn’t want to work at a 9-5 job. I wanted to be able to work from anywhere; my home with my family, or in a Parisian cafe, on a Thai rooftop, or a studio apartment in Barcelona. I gave up security of an office job with 12 days vacation a year for a job that allows me to work where and when I want. I may have to answer emails while I spend the week in Hawaii, or be on a conference call at 4am while I’m in Paris, but that is a small price to pay to be in those places in the first place.
But it didn’t come easy…and it’s still not always easy, but a few years ago I started putting my dreams into actions. Knowing the end goal, I started planting seeds. I couldn’t just open my own online marketing agency with little to zero experience at age 23. I applied for a job on Craigslist for a 9am-6pm position as an administrative assistant. I made $9 per hour. I could barely afford my $650 per month apartment and most of my meals consisted of some sort of pasta from a box (or cup, rather).
After a few months of working there, I decided to take action. The CEO was considering hiring another administrative assistant, but I convinced him to let me work 2 extra hours a day, to save him money, if he promoted me part-time to be the assistant for the Marketing Director. Getting into the office at 7am and leaving after 6pm each day, I was exhausted, but learning a lot. Soon, the Marketing Director decided to leave the company to be a stay-at-home mother, and I was promoted to Marketing Director. After 2 years as Marketing Director, I left the company to start my own company.
Even that wasn’t easy. Leaving the company meant leaving my paycheck, which I had spent a great deal of time negotiating pay raises. I was back to square one. Back to eating noodles from a cup, but this time in a smaller apartment in a bigger city. I knew if I wanted to be successful with my business, I had to go after bigger fish, and that meant leaving Sacramento behind and moving to San Francisco.
click to enlarge
I went to every network event, even started my own networking group with a few friends, and tried to meet everyone in San Francisco. I made it happen, with the generous help of my friends, business contacts, and support of my family.
Fast forward 3 years later and here we are. Looking back, I know that every opportunity I had is because I created it. So, thanks for the advice, Mr. Hope.
This morning I stumbled upon an inspirational blog with a post entitled Regrets of the Dying. It’s serendipitous that I discovered this article, as I was just telling a new friend I met in Kauai about my fears of dying without truly living. There is so much to see on this earth, that even if I had thousands of years to explore, it would be impossible to see everything. It’s all changing so fast, I feel that if I don’t go now, certain places could be gone forever.
“You know, adults have responsibilities. Normal people don’t just go around buying plane tickets on a whim, jumping off waterfalls instead of going to class, or stay up all night googling foreign places they’d be off to next, without at least a solid plan in mind.” This came from my mother, whom, ironically, is the one who got me started with traveling in the first place. She’s says she’s created a monster who’s incapable of feeling satisfied with a normal life.
To me it all bottles down to my first initial fear, dying without living. Here are the 5 regrets that were heard most by Bonnie Ware, a palliative caretaker, a caretaker for those whom wish to go home to die, as told by Bonnie herself in her book [link below]:
1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.
2. I wish I didn’t work so hard. By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings. Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier. This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.
Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.
Read the rest of Bonnie’s article, and get information on her book, the Top Five Regrets of the Dying – A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing here.
I love giveaways! Especially those that benefit my readers. This giveaway is sponsored by LashControl®, an awesome new line of mascara formulas that have squeeze technology. It’s pretty awesome actually. With LashControl® you can vary the amount of mascara formula that comes out on the brush, every time you use it.
HOW IT WORKS: There is a flexible wiper built into the tube that is controlled with finger pressure when you pull the brush out. You squeeze harder if you want a light application to start then layer it on. Or, apply a generous amount of mascara then re-insert to the brush and squeeze off the excess so you can separate the lashes and draw out the lashes to its longest point. Any excess stays inside the tube. No need to scrape off the tip of the brush or wipe with a tissue so you don’t get that glop on your eyelid or nose. No waste, no foreign particles go back inside the tube, no clumps!!
TO WIN: Here’s all you have to do to be entered to win a $50 giftcard to Ulta, sponsored from my friends over at LashControl:
That’s it! It’s THAT simple. Just be sure to come back over here when you’re done and leave a comment to let me know you did it. The winner will be chosen randomly by Random.org on June 5th and notified by email, and of course, I’ll post the winner here as well!
I know it’s long, but we have a lot of catching up to do.
I am a planner. My Google calendar is perfectly synced with my hand-written pocket calendar, and everything is planned out perfectly. Dinners, parties, bottomless mimosa brunches, client meetings, and vacations are all written and color-coordinated weeks to months in advance. But it wasn’t always this way…
12 months ago my life was in complete chaos. I didn’t know whether I was coming or going. After a slow winter professionally, I was also treading water in my personal life. I needed something to pull me out of my funk and get me back to kicking ass and taking names. So I created a plan.
After leaving my home and my relationship, I moved into a high rise downtown and started a new job as Marketing Director of a technology company, while still balancing 30 hour weeks for my own firm. I was convinced that keeping myself as busy as possible would help keep my mind off everything else in my life that seemed to be spiraling out of control.
It worked. My new job was equal parts challenging and fulfilling, and my own firm began to pick up speed. With the help of my amazing friends, I was back in the social world: traveling, dating, and experiencing all that this awesomespice city has to offer.
Now here we are, 12 months later, and it’s time to take take the next step. But, what exactly is the next step? It’s been months of arguing back and forth with myself. Should I stay in San Francisco or move to Europe? Expand my business or keep it boutique? Keep going at this pace or settle down?
Here, in no particular order, is the new plan (parts 1 & 2, and mostly 3 are complete):
FOCUS:
Quit my job, focus completely on my clients Studio 41. Instead of working 80-hour weeks, spend a human-size amount of time working, and spend more time drinking lemonade on my roof deck with the people I love.
SIMPLIFY:
Forgo the sky-high rent by moving out of the high rise and into an equally charming, but half the rent, house, 2 blocks from the beach. Also, buy less shoes, more plane tickets.
CONNECT:
Spend less time at the gym, and spend more time running on the beach trail, kayaking, surfing, and other sun-soaking activities.
So that was the new plan. Now that we’re all caught up…what’s new with you?
Later this week I’ll be writing about how I ditched the 9-5, again. I’ll also give you a tour of the new digs. Here’s a sneak peek: THIS is my new neighborhood:
What is it about social media that makes us feel like if we don’t let the world know what we are doing, eating, and seeing, it doesn’t really matter? When did experiencing life only become about documenting it?
I’m not complaining, notreally. It’s really more of an observance, because I am one of the worst offenders. I’m on almost every social network out there: Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Path, GetGlue, Google+, Instagram, LinkedIn, Pinterest, Foursquare…I don’t even want to go on out of sheer embarrassment.
Part of me wishes I could blog every memory I make, Instagram every picture in my head, and Facebook every question or comment that pops into my head. But the honest truth is, not only would it bore you, I just don’t have time for it.
Most of the time, I’m too busy experiencing whatever I’m seeing, tasting, living, that I don’t want to ruin it by pausing these perfect moments to whip out my iPhone. At least I thought it was most of the time. That was until friends started commenting on how much it seemed I couldn’t live without checking my phone. Taking a quick photo and Instagramming it really does take 20 seconds. It’s the constant notifications afterwards that are the real distraction. And it needs to stop. Not only is it rude to my friends, but it takes away from whatever enjoyment I should be focusing on.
I took a look at my notification settings earlier today and realized I have about 50 apps with push notifications. FIFTY. Do I really need a notification every time a friend I sort of know checks into a place 50 miles from me? No I do not. Do I really need a notification every time someone comments on a photo that I commented on 2 years ago? No I do not. I realize these notifications are not only unnecessary, but they also cause me undue stress and distraction.
My solution was to disable about 47 of the 50 notifications. Obviously, I need the notifications that are forms of contact: Texting, Google Voice, & Whatsapp. But the rest I just don’t need. Maybe after a few days of peace, I’ll let a few more apps back into the notification center. But, maybe not. I’ll let you know how it goes.