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I owe you an apology.

Let me preface this with the fact that I have the best friends IN THE WORLD.  They put up with a heck of a lot being friends with me.  They deserve a big ‘thank you’ and an even bigger apology. And no, they don’t actually hate me…or at least I hope they don’t.

Not to make excuses for myself, but  I lead a very busy life.  I’m constantly caught up with work, travel, the boyfriend (now the ex-boyfriend), moving to a new house or apartment or even a new city (which I seem to do all. the. time.).

My mind is in a perpetually contradictory state.  One minute I want to stay in San Francisco for the rest of my life, then next moment I’m planning my move to Barcelona or New York.  One moment I’m considering settling down, the next I’m on a flight out of the country.  It’s very confusing for the people around me.

I want to make sure I experience everything.  But, quite often, that leaves little time for my friends, especially those who don’t live within walking distance.  I’m not a phone person, and when I do get the urge to call up a friend, I realize how long it’s actually been since the last time I called, and figure you’re not exactly jonesing to hear from me.

I’ve always been of the mind set that true friends will be there for you no matter what.  Whether you go 6 hours, 6 weeks, or 6 years without talking, you can call them up and you should be able to pick up right where you left off.  What I’ve realized is, only some friends feel the same way.  I assume that if I don’t call a friend for a few months, they will assume that I’m just busy, I still care and we’re still friends. But I’ve noticed that some of my friends need/want more than that from me, and take it quite personally when I don’t keep in touch.  I would always justify my feelings of guilt with the excuse “the phone works both ways,” because it’s true: If you want to talk to me, CALL ME.  I’d love to hear from you.

Then it dawned on me: Being a friend also works both ways (duh).  I need to spend more time focusing on what you need as a friend, not just want I need out of the friendship.  You deserve that.

So here is my vow to you:

I promise to make the time to talk…and not just on Facebook or G Chat.

I will come visit more often, as much as your schedule and my wallet will allow.

I will be there for you when you call, even if you think it’s been too long (if you think we’ll have nothing to talk about at first, don’t worry, I have plenty of jokes filed away in my brain for occasions such as this).

I will make the time and effort to make sure we are friends until we’re too old and senile to remember each other.

I hope you accept my apology for being a crappy friend, and know I really value our friendship, our memories, and our future memories.

Now, let’s have a glass of wine and watch Friends.

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